Beginning At The Beginning
by Selena Barton
Summary: POV: Paine Introspective 1st FFX2 fic. One shot. NOTE: This has been editted to contain the entire chapter since my file on my drive had truncted half way. Sorry!


**_(Final Fantasy X-2 Fic) Beginning At The Beginning (1/1)_**  
This is unbeta'd, uneditted, and totally the first attempt at a complete shoujo-ai fic and first attempt at Final Fantasy X-2. (Okay at any fandom outside of Gundam Wing. I admit it. I'm keeping my list small.)

Title: Beginning At The Beginning  
Author: Selena Barton  
Fandom: Final Fantasy X-2  
Pairing: Paine/Yuna  
Rating: G/PG guess it all depends  
Warnings: Shoujo-ai, spoilerish material - I tried to run this with the game some.  
POV: Paine  
Dedicated to **snowtigra** since it's all her fault I even tried to write this.

Beginning At The Beginning

_By: Selena Barton_

I don't know when I really fell in love with her. In all reality, I'm not completely sure there was a time I didn't love her at some level. I guess the best way to start is at the beginning. Well, as close to the beginning as I'm going to go is when Yuna joined us onboard.

Rikku spent a lot of time convincing her to leave Besaid. Rikku was there and I actually missed all the teasing. I had thought the time would be very relaxing, but I had to deal with Brother more than usual too. So, there went a nice, relaxing vacation. The peace in the cabin wasn't exactly how I had expected it would be.

I remember when Yuna first came on board. The very minute I saw her. I don't know why I remember it so clearly. Maybe because I had always heard about the High Summoner Lady Yuna, daughter of Lord Braska. The family of Summoners that had brought the past two Calms. They were known all over Spira. All children seemed to dream of being a guardian. I was no different. The adventure seemed so surreal. I had to have a piece of that wild, unpredictable life. That was why I joined the Gullwings. The freedom and adventure.

Yuna ran up the gang-plank with Rikku, both talking incessantly. She talked wildly. She wanted to see Spira in it's Calm. She wanted to find a man that she saw in a sphere. That is how Rikku convinced Yuna to come with us in the first place. Yuna had to know about this young man, and becoming a sphere hunter seemed like the next step to them.

I heard Rikku running all over the place introducing Yuna to everyone. The next thing I heard was the scoop raising up and Rikku screaming my name as she raced out across the deck to where I was standing leaning against the metal gull.

"What?" I half growled at her as I turned around and saw her standing there next to the opening.

"You have to meet Yunie!"

I was surprised. I hadn't expected to actually see her standing there. The wind flew through her hair and she was breath-taking as she watched Spira fly by beneath us. I walked across the deck to meet her properly. This was one person that when you meet her, it should be done right.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yes," she breathed her eyes only glancing in my direction before looking out across the view again.

"It's the most peaceful place on the ship, as long as Rikku is inside or off the ship," I teased.

"HEY!" Rikku whined as Yuna laughed and nodded.

I don't remember much more important that day outside of how she looked. I didn't realize it then, but that was the beginning of everything. It was a few more months down the road before I started to really notice anything.

Yuna had slept in the bed between the beds where Rikku and I slept since she got there. I had always slept farthest from the stairs. I could jump down from the top and be next to the door. That suited me just fine. But it was about 4 months after she joined us that I started having trouble sleeping.

It was hard to go to sleep without laying there and watching her sleep until I passed out. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps, and I just couldn't tear my eyes away as she laid there with the moon light glowing on her face. She had nightmares at times. I couldn't help, but want to hold her and chase away the fears. But that would have showed just how much I cared, and I wasn't ready to be hurt like that again.

I hadn't really fully trusted anyone since Nooj had shot all of us, Baralli, Gippal, and myself that is. It was the pyreflies; I know that. But it made it really hard to trust anyone after that. I had gotten so close to them. Gippal made sure of that. I know what Rikku saw in him at one point. I'm not sure it didn't effect him the same way. I had quieted those demons until we found the cavern in Mushroom Rock again. Those feelings came back, and had Rikku not been there and had she not pushed, I could have told Yuna everything. I could have told her all about that time in my life.

I knew I was falling then. I wasn't overly sure when I was watching her sleep. I wasn't even sure when I felt a twinge of jealousy when I woke to find Rikku in Yuna's bed the first time. They were so close. Yuna had had a horrible nightmare that night, and Rikku had curled up with her to quiet her. In a way, I was glad that she had someone who loved her that much and could show her.

I couldn't believe how close I was getting to her. I hadn't wanted to get so close to anyone. I wanted to run my fingers through that hair and to comfort her when she needed it. I wanted to hold her close to me and make her feel loved, safe, and special. I have to admit there was even a part of me that wanted those very feelings from her for me.

I almost gave up when Tidus came back. That kiss was amazing. I was sure I had lost her then. I gave Rikku a smile standing there. I was willing to go on in silence if he was really what she wanted. I wanted her happiness, so if he's what it would take, I'd just have to move on. Though, what I truly wanted was her with me.

Tidus had been back for a couple months. Yuna had stayed in Besaid with him. It was the first time we'd been back since the day Tidus had returned. Yuna ran out and hugged Rikku who ran head long into her. When Yuna let go, she turned to me. I looked into her eyes and saw something there that I thought I was only imagining. I saw those eyes staring into mine and before I could be sure of what I saw, she looked behind her to the approaching footsteps.

"I've missed you," she said turning to look at me again.

"You've been missed," I answered. I couldn't make myself take that step closer to hug her. I wanted her to embrace me like she had Rikku.

Rikku squealed and dashed to Lulu and the small one she carried. The baby was only a few months old now, and Rikku was fawning all over him with Yuna beside her. Lulu handed the bundle to Rikku before walking out from them and motioning for me to follow. I did. There was something about her that made me respect her. I think it was because of how much Yuna respected her partially. Lulu just carried herself in a way that demanded respect.

She led me up next to the temple before she stopped and turned to me. She met my eyes, and I felt a chill run down my spine.

"Do you love her?"

I couldn't get my mouth to say the words that screamed to be spoken. I wanted to tell her that I loved her more than life itself. I wanted to say that I had risked my life to protect her on our adventures before he came back, and I longed to be by her side protecting her still.

"Answer me," she spoke softly. It wasn't as forced and cold as I had expected.

"Yes," was all I could manage to get to leave my lips. I had never felt so timid. I was the aggressive one. I was the one that stood before what frightened the others and declared battle. I was the protector of those who were scared. I wasn't the scared one.

"Don't hurt her," she said in that cold tone I had anticipated before.

"I couldn't hurt her intentionally, and if I have ever hurt her unintentionally, I'd not forgive myself." There. Those words were beginning to find voice. I was able to tell the one person who I felt could be trusted exactly what I thought to her comment. If someone ever hurt Yuna, I'd kill them.

I turn to see Tidus walk out of a hut near by. Apparently, he had built one near the edge of the town near the temple as well. My eyes follow him as he walks down toward Rikku cheerfully.

"She doesn't love him," she almost whispers. "She doesn't love him like she does you."

I think my heart stopped at that point. I watched Yuna smile at him and the way her eyes sparkled when she looked past him to me. Yuna looked puzzled when she saw Lulu and I out there. Maybe she had confided in Lulu and perhaps, for our own good, Lulu was telling me so I could do something about it. I look into Lulu's eyes, and I see a great deal of understanding. I see pain in there mixed with love. I knew about Wakka's brother and how Lulu felt about him. I know I started out thinking how strange it was she married the brother of her dead love. But now that I've seen them together, and I've seen that precious life they've created, I can't imagine them not together and being happy.

It wasn't until later that night that I got to spend any actual time with Yuna. Everyone had eaten, and Rikku was fawning over Vidina again. I swear that poor baby is going to think something is wrong with her. She just squeals and gets so hyper. I'm sure that Vidina isn't used to that. Wait, Tidus had him earlier. He'll be fine.

Yuna left the dinner table early. She had finished, but she hadn't eaten much at all. She played more with her food than she ate. It worried me. I had seen that habit many times, and something was always bothering her when she did it. Tidus started to stand, and I just waved a hand in gesture for him to stay. He wasn't done eating, and I followed her down the path behind the temple.

"Yuna?"

"Oh, Paine," her voice was hushed, almost gone, as she turned to see me only momentarily before watching the water beat upon the shore.

"You didn't eat well," I didn't know what else to say. I didn't know exactly what I was doing as it was. I was just kind of winging it.

"I wasn't hungry," she muttered.

I stepped up and cupped her cheek with my hand. Slowly, I turned her face to look into her eyes. So much confusion in both our eyes, I'm sure. I felt that strange constriction inside and that inability to speak had a solid grip on me again.

"Paine," she barely breathed.

Our lips were mere inches apart. Slowly, we both leaned in and our lips met for a brief moment. When we both pulled back, I watched her eyes flutter open. I saw so much emotion in those eyes staring into mine. We were both so confused and overwhelmed. I could just see it right there in her eyes.

I still couldn't speak, and nothing more was said. It was awkward. I didn't know what to say, or what to do. I just knew that it felt right. Something that sublime as that small of a kiss couldn't be wrong. If I didn't love her, that little touch wouldn't have knocked me on my ass, so to speak.

I went back to the ship after that. I couldn't stay there. I had to get away, to have time to think. I went back to the cabin and laid down across the bed. Barkeep wouldn't stop his mushy talk with his now wife. I couldn't think with all that going on, so I went back out onto the deck. I laid out across the cool metal and listened to the waves crashing against the soft sands of the Besaid shores.

I didn't even bother to look when I heard the door open and the soft steps making their way across the deck. I didn't have to look. There was only one person who could ever come to me that quietly on this ship.

"Paine, I…" she started.

I just motioned for her to sit beside me. I wasn't really going to go any further. I had already pretty much made of mess of my attempt earlier, and I didn't need to make a fool of myself twice in one night.

I felt her hand against my cheek and felt my heart sink as she let her fingers trace the trails of the tears I hadn't even realized I'd been crying. Her touch was so gentle.

"Yuna, I…" and my voice was gone. Not that it mattered as her finger rested on my lips.

"I love you," she whispered. I thought I must be dreaming. There was no way she would seriously come up here just to tell me that. If it was real, she would have stopped me when I turned and left after the kiss behind the temple.

I could just feel her withdraw as I just laid there silent. I caught her wrist as she started to physically pull away. I couldn't let either of us leave without her knowing how I felt too. Besides, if I was right, and it was a dream, what could it hurt?

I leaned in close to her ear and whispered, afraid my voice would fail me once again. "I love you Yuna. I think I always have." I hear her breath catch in her throat. I feel a strong desire to press my lips to her neck, to trace kisses from the tip of her head all the way down her body. I feel her body tremble and pull her in close to me.

I feel her tears fall upon my shoulder as I hold her close. So much emotion just has to go somewhere and there is no way things are going to move that quickly. I want to take my time with her. I want to treat her the way she should be treated. I want her to know I'm completely sincere before I go any further.

I know she's exhausted. Her body's shaking slows and her weight leans into me. She's cried herself to sleep. I know she was happy. I could see it in her eyes along with the relief. I lay back onto the cool metal laying her down with me against my side. I couldn't wake her if I wanted to, and I don't. I want to lay here and hold her close, like Rikku used to. No, not she did. I want to hold her like a lover, not a friend. And tonight, I get that wish.


End file.
